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Lily Owens’s mistakes define her in The Secret Life of Bees. The memory of her dead mother haunts all aspects of her life. Lily, who is trying to find herself and learn from her mistakes, realizes her true motivation by fleeing her old life. She wants knowledge, experience, and truth, not forgiveness. Lily, in Tiburon, learns the importance of love. She discovers that she can find it even where hate once existed, forgive others, and love herself. Lily no longer defines herself by her past mistakes, but by what she’s learned.
Lily’s life has been ruled by T-ray. She is never allowed to discover love or the possibility of loving someone she once hated. Lily is initially repelled by June and doesn’t see that she can love her despite June’s tough ways. In the context of racial tension, June first gives Lily cold shoulder. “She’s white” was the reason. June eventually accepts Lily, but Lily has to wait longer. Lily learned to love June after spraying her with water. June then hugged Lily as their clothes “made sweet, soft sounds all over their bodies” (Kidd 169). Lily was able show her sisterly affection for June by finally hugging her. Lily was able to learn how to truly love through this method, but she also had the opportunity for forgiveness.
Lily will be able to forgive once she understands that love can exist where hate was. Lily and T-ray’s relationship was not paternal. “Daddy never fitted him.” Lily’s relationship with T-ray was anything but paternal, “daddy never fit him”. Lily believes that T-ray does not love her because he is incapable of showing affection. Lily believes that T-ray doesn’t love her because he doesn’t care about the small things. While keeping bees August taught Lily that “there were 32 names for the word love in eskimo” (Kidd). Lily concludes, from this, that if love has 32 names, there must also be 32 kinds of love. The love T-ray showed her before was only one. Lily can now call T-ray “Daddy” because she knows he loves her, but in a different way than she could understand before. Lily can forgive others and love herself more by doing so.
Lily must learn to connect all her experiences into one love in order to fully understand what she’s searching for. Lily’s inner peace will not be complete until she fully understands unity and a universal love. While tending bees. Lily tries desperately to send love and affection to everyone, screaming, “I Love You, I Love You.” She tried saying it 32 different ways.” (Kidd. 149). Lily has a goal to reach but is confused and overwhelmed, believing that her words and thought will accomplish it. Lily’s goal will remain a mere concept until she can put it into action. Lily finally realizes and “traces the heart of black Mary with her finger”. You are the Mother of Thousands”(Kidd). Lily is led by the black spiritual Madonna through a process of accepting and showing love to everyone. Mary’s Love has entered Lily’s Heart by touching her.
Lily learns ideas from the process of inner illumination that she couldn’t do on her o ne own. She learns forgiveness and how to love when there is no love. Lily will never be able to put her mother’s death behind her, despite her newfound knowledge. Lily needed closure not on her mistake of years past, but on her acceptance and self-acceptance. Lily’s mistakes are no longer what define her, but rather the lessons she has learned and the people that have helped her.
